WELCOME!

I'm so glad you've come.  My dad is an amazing man, and his life has taken some unbelievable turns as of late.  It's been almost all I can do to absorb it all, and initiate a few texts to update people I already dialog with on a regular basis.  And of course, (my all time fav!), answer any calls or texts that come my way. 

Well the other day, I received a delightful call from my Uncle Karl.  He took time to absorb all my updates, and then gave much needed thoughtful encouragement and TLC.  As we concluded our conversation, he said that he would love ongoing updates.  I asked him what format works best for him (I know not everyone is addicted to texting like I am!).  He said he really appreciated his sister's daily emails when she was here for a visit several weeks ago. 

Kinda took me by surprise...Uncle Karl wanting this format.  Gail's visit was during a most unbelievable time in Dad's life/death/life journey, and I was with Gail in the same room as she composed several of her emails.  She was quite honest -- vulnerable really (this coming from me, a girl whose "personal-privacy" meter is set on ultra-high!).  I couldn't imagine doing it myself but was glad she had found herself reaching out so easily to her larger support systems.

But now here was someone asking me to fill her shoes!  Intimidated by the idea, I quickly came back to the conversation at hand. It was my Uncle KARL on the other line.  Logical, efficient Karl (traits we Bruces are known and loved for) -- not one of my therapist friends!  Rather than self-debate further, I asked straight out: "So...what did you like about Gail's emails?"

I thought he'd say something about the fact that they arrived daily. Or that email is faster than phone calls  (that logic and efficiency thing again).  But to my surprise, my aunt's personalization, that fact that she shared a piece of her soul, was really what he valued most. It gave him a way to live within her experience. And it strengthened his sense of family. Of spiritual community.

Well. Ok.  I'd give it a go.  But 10 days passed, and no emails. Why can't I get to something so important?  Don't think it's my privacy issues...while I have continued on my mostly solo path (beyond Mom, Tim and my  siblings), I am working hard to expand outside of my immediate bubble. I do believe what Uncle Karl said, that we need a community to come alongside us as we struggle through some of life's hardest gifts. Must be the email thing, as this is my second weakest link (returning voicemails is my first).

But the idea of community...it has gradually dawned on me that I know a lot about this, at least in the online dimension.  My recent philospophical understanding of social networking, and my deep appreciation of it, is thanks to our amazing nephew Patrick and neice Amy (who just spent a wonderful year with us at our business, catching us up to the wonders of current day technology--admidst a ton of fun).  I realized that the format Uncle Karl would like is a lot like, well, a blog.

And I can do blogs. In fact, my brother Daniel and I spent all summer figuring them out. (http://www.nestedart.com/ is the happy fruit of our labor.) I love the blog way! You get to write it the way that you see it. You take a situation and fill the telling of it completely full of interpretations, impressions, insights. It's not about the facts of the matter, really -- although I'm the first to admit that a well-crafted fact or two doesn't hurt a post much at all.

The idea of sharing the details of my dad's situation in this style caught my attention. Being able to place my spin on things would soften the sting of the straight up, cold cruel facts. Certainly for the teller, hopefully for the reader.  So, a simple question to brother Daniel tonight -- "Is it easy to set up a Dad Blog?" -- and my problem is solved. (For Daniel, it's all easy. The hard part is getting me up to speed on what just happened.)

Ok, Uncle, so here it is.  My best attempt to provide dad updates from my heart.  I'll take the plunge, for family.  Love you lots...and thanks for asking.  And, of course, for calling.

Love to all!!!

_______________________________________

p.s.  apparently, this is harder than i thought!  As I preview the post, I see that I am stalling on my official update.  A few facts, please.  But -- where to begin?  Truly I find it difficult to put into words my personal sense of what is happening with dad. 

So I'll pretend, Uncle, that you are asking me questions.  We'll start with the facts:

* Several days ago dad was transferred back to the Arizona Veteran Home.  This is the place dad left several weeks ago when his massive "electrical storm" hit. (Was it really just a massive grand mal seizure?  A single seizure, even a grand mal, is not known to create damage like this.)

* Dad was supposed to go to Hospice, but during the several days it took to prepare for the transition, his status improved so that he was no longer appropriate. Again, very unexpected.  (One of those days, I was talking to him after PT and OT had transferred him into a reclining hospital-bed chair.  The palliative care --end of life -- nurse came by to check on him and I saw a near-concealed look of shock pass over her face.  She leaned toward him and said quietly, "You ARE the Mystery Man.")  I just smiled.

*  Surprisingly, dad has been authorized for therapy: Physical, Occupational and Speech.  They are working VERY hard to maximize his functional capacity, but are not sure how long they will be able to justify therapy.  Why surprisingly?  Because normally people who are at his low level don't receive therapy.  Why "not sure"? Because people at his level coming into subacute therapy usually "peak out" their potential rather quickly.  And also because, with dad, we have learned to expect the unexpected.


Will save my sense of it all for another time.  Must go for now  Again, xox to all.